Jennette McCurdy Reflects on the “Red Flags” in Her First Relationship

Jennette McCurdy is opening up about a painful chapter from her teens—and how it helped shape her new novel.

The former iCarly star, now 33, appeared on the Call Her Daddy podcast to talk about Half His Age, a story inspired by a relationship she had with a much older man while she was still very young.

In the novel, a 17-year-old girl becomes involved with her teacher—an echo of McCurdy’s own experience dating a man in his 30s after meeting him through work. Looking back, she said the warning signs were there from the beginning.

They spent long hours together on set, bonding over movies and music. One night, he showed up at her apartment drunk. McCurdy said she had just moved out on her own and was eager for connection, not fully understanding how intoxicated he was or how unhealthy the situation had become.

“There were red flags everywhere,” she said, explaining that she was newly independent and inexperienced, especially because of her strict upbringing. At the time, she believed dating an older man meant she was “mature” and “smart.”

She recalled feeling confused when she met his friends. The men were friendly, but their partners seemed uncomfortable. Only years later did she realize they weren’t judging her—they were judging him.

What kept her in the relationship, McCurdy said, was the feeling of being “special.” He told her she was unusually mature and that he couldn’t talk to anyone else the same way. That praise made her feel powerful at a time when she felt anything but.

“If you feel really powerless, you’ll take that bait,” she said. “Even if your gut knows something is wrong.”

McCurdy also shared that the man used pressure and guilt to keep her close, even while he was still involved with another girlfriend and as McCurdy’s mother was gravely ill. She described moments where her boundaries were pushed and how confused she felt afterward.

Today, McCurdy views that relationship through a very different lens—one shaped by growth, distance, and reflection. She’s already explored parts of her past in her bestselling memoir, I'm Glad My Mom Died, and says this new novel allowed her to examine how manipulation can feel like choice when you’re young.

Half His Age will be released on January 20, 2026, and is currently available for preorder.