In a heartfelt essay written for The Cut, the 54-year-old actress revealed that Dane now has 24/7 nurses, but only after she went head-to-head with his insurance company. Gayheart, who separated from the actor in 2018, said navigating the health-care system became a battle of persistence, appeals, and emotional endurance.
“Just figuring out the health-care system is its own thing,” Gayheart wrote. “The health-insurance company will deny you what you’re asking for and you have to appeal and then apply again.”
Dane publicly shared in April that he had been diagnosed with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), also known as Lou Gehrig’s disease — a progressive neurological condition that gradually robs people of their ability to move, speak, eat, and breathe independently. There is no cure, though some treatments can slow the disease’s progression.
According to Gayheart, getting home nursing care approved was especially brutal. She recalled one insurance representative telling her, “You can keep applying, and I’ll keep denying.” That moment pushed her into full fight mode.
“I made it my mission,” she wrote. “I was locked in.”
After two formal appeals, she finally succeeded in securing approval for full-time nursing support. Even then, coverage gaps remain. Dane’s care is split into 21 shifts, and when nurses aren’t available, Gayheart often steps in herself.
“There was a 12-hour shift recently that I could not cover,” she explained, noting that juggling her daughters’ schedules made it impossible. In that moment, she reached out to two of Dane’s friends for help — including one who had never cared for him in that way before.
“I can’t believe I had to ask someone to do this,” she admitted. But both friends immediately said yes and showed up without hesitation. “They did a wonderful job.”
Still, not everyone has been there. Gayheart acknowledged that some people who once played a big role in her life have quietly disappeared. She’s discussed that pain extensively in therapy and has come to understand why.
“Most people are not great in this situation because it’s so heavy,” she said. “It’s not easy for people.”
Rather than holding resentment, Gayheart says she’s chosen compassion. “I don’t hold any grudges toward anyone who hasn’t shown up.”
Despite describing her relationship with Dane as “super complicated,” Gayheart has taken charge of his medical care while continuing to raise their two daughters, Billie, 15, and Georgia, 13. Her essay offers a raw look at caregiving — not just the logistics and exhaustion, but the emotional cost of fighting systems, leaning on others, and learning who truly shows up when life becomes overwhelming.
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